Another month has slipped by since I last posted. Not for lack of trying, mind you. The trouble is I cannot seem to post positively. Sad, dark thoughts crowd in every time I sit at the computer and find their ways to the ends of my fingers. I type out tales that would make paint crack and toes peel. I stop midway, pinch my lips, bend my brow and furrow in disgust. Who wants to read such stuff? Well, maybe somebody does.
Yesterday I spent the morning
sawing logs into lumber. Cloudy and cool, it was just the right weather for
hard outdoor work. Many hours and much sawdust into the morning, a thought
occurred to me. Take a rest. So I took off my hearing protectors and lay down
on a plank I'd just sawn. I stared up into the sky for the first time all day. Above
me was a near-perfect hole in the forest crown. The oak I was milling had
occupied the space above before it fell in a storm. On my back I could see the
exact outline of its former crown, a near-perfect circle fringed by the last
branches of the surrounding trees.
Then a meandering insect came into sight, hovering quite high above me. I refocused on it. A gnat? Mayfly? Hard to tell. Then another. They flew an unintelligible pattern back and forth, the circle of light gray clouds their backdrop. Bugs on errands, living bugs, working bugs, unemployed bugs, criminal bugs. I watched them for a bit, took in the lovely shape above my head and laughed to think I'd been there all day without seeing the beauty above me, without knowing the little dramas of bug life playing out above the roar of my saw. So obsessed with what we sense, the unperceived overwhelms this planet with beauties born and dying beyond us. Thank goodness for them.
Distracted by fleeing time, I got back to work.