Repairing a Refrigerator in 35 Days or More

Life in 2022 America brings so many challenges.

On the one hand, maybe an ex-president kept top-secret nuclear codes because he felt keeping them was his right, or they were valuable to sell. Or maybe the FBI is a totally corrupt, libtard-controlled organization hell-bent on destroying America's best chance of becoming great again. I dunno what to do about either scenario.

On the other hand, maybe Russia is gonna nuke us tomorrow because they have the historical right to rule from Portugal to Japan. And apparently America stands in the way of that. Should we? I dunno. What do the Portuguese feel about it?Should we listen to them?

On a third hand, maybe China is gonna invade Taiwan tomorrow, then the rest of South East Asia, because it's their historical right and the Colonial powers have been mean to them. And apparently America stands in the way of that too. Should we? I dunno.

As a voter, I should spend my time informing myself on these topics, to help put mature, informed, and responsible people in office to make the hard choices.

Instead, what takes most of my time, mental capacity, and money, is my refrigerator.

Apparently, our consumerist culture demands it, to keep the economy going and keep our mega-corporations mega-profitable, and to keep me from choosing mature, informed, and responsible political leaders.

I've even written a poem about it, maybe borrowing a word or two from W. B Yeats:

How can I, that broken refrigerator there,

My attention fix,

On Roman or Russian

Or on Chinese politics,

Yet here's a traveled man that knows,

What he talks about,

And there's a politician

That has both read and thought,

And maybe what they say is true

Of war and war's alarms,

But O that I were young again

And held cold food again in my arms.

 --

As I write this, Dinah and I are on day 35 of trying to fix or replace our refrigerator. So far, we have paid several thousand dollars to repairmen and mega-corporations. In return, we have acquired a glimmer of hope for a working fridge, perhaps by this afternoon, perhaps in another 10 days, or who knows when really.

Snark aside, what part of this kleptocratic circus of blank global-economic stupidity do we like? How have we, "the greatest nation in the world" have come to be systemically incapable of fixing or replacing a refrigerator? We merrily dance along to this economy in ways that make the movie Idiocracy look like a best-case scenario going forward.

Hello People?

 

Chapter 1: The Dying Fridge

Our Odyssey began July 19 when we noticed the ice in the freezer was soft. I listened for the compressor and heard nothing. I fiddled with the controls and found them unresponsive. The LCD display flashed strange words that had nothing to do with "cold". I checked vents to see if they were blocked, and they weren't.

The fridge was 12 years old, in otherwise perfect condition. My sister has a fridge in her basement that was made in the 1970's that is still running. A 2010 vintage should have generations to go, I thought.

For a day, I hoped the fridge would get better. It just got warmer.

So, it was time to fix it.

 

Chapter 2: The DIY Repair Effort

I make things for a living. I take apart and repair woodworking tools and machines. I've restored two 60's cars and a 70's motorcycle. Fixing a fridge would be new, but I thought I had the basic skillset to learn as I went.

Foolish me.

I thought the major obstacle was time. A woodworking machine can wait on parts. Our fresh lettuce could not.

First, I did not call the manufacturer or look in the manual. I knew where that would go -- after a three hour wait on hold, a minimum-wage KitchenAid employee would read monotone from a script through various troubleshooting steps (Is the fridge plugged in?), eventually advising me to get a repairman, as something was broken, which I already knew.

Instead, I started by looking for a shortcut on YouTube. Within minutes, I found a video of a fellow puzzling over the same strange words flashing on an identical LCD display. "Probably the control board," the Youtube expert told me in a calm, authoritative voice. So I believed him.

Listening to some fellow on Youtube is not a good way to solve a problem. Who is he? What does he know? Who is paying him? But among the unreliable flotsam and jetsam, I have occasionally found good tips with a favorable risk-benefit ratio. If the circuit board was a $15 item, I'd buy one, slap it in, and see if the problem went away, thereby avoiding the long process of really understanding what was wrong with the fridge, and coming up with an accurate solution.

I followed up the Youtube video with four hours of online searching for an electronics parts schematic. Kitchenaid really doesn't want the little guy to know how the fridge is wired, as I never found an electronics schematic, just mechanical ones. Are they kept in a vault under Fort Knox?

I found a reseller that, based on my fridge's serial number, offered a control board for $380, minus tax and shipping. They promised it was "in stock" and could deliver in 5-10 business days. Now, this is a hand-sized green circuit board with a few diodes, resistors and such poking out of it. $380 for a circuit board that likely cost $3 or less to manufacture? Even factoring in transportation, taxes, duties, inventory, overhead, this price is incomprehensible. Considering what spare parts cost in the 70's and 80's (and companies were profitable then, in spite of being much less efficient), there is something amiss to the price for that little circuit board.

And ten business days? We were supposed to leave on vacation for a week in three days. I had to fix the fridge before then.

I called two Chicago-based shops, but neither had the board. They said they could order it, but neither could give ma firm delivery date.

I thought through next moves.

And what if Mr. Youtube is wrong? What if the compressor crapped out, and not the control board? I'd drop $400 on nothing. I had no way to test the control board, and wasn't even sure if I could. To fix the fridge properly, I also needed some kind of schematic for the electronics and compressor, but could find none online. Did I want to invest in circuit board testing equipment and knowledge? Did I want to pull the entire fridge apart to create my own wiring diagram? Not really. I had other demands on my time.

The simple, inexpensive DIY fix was not an option.

 

Chapter 3: The Repairman Effort, Part 1

Dinah and I decided on plan B -- give some money to a local repairman who can get the job done before we go on vacation.

Dinah found one with good Yelp reviews named Richard, the Appliance Professor. He told her couldn't come out for a week, that he was too busy. But then I texted him with the part number for the board, wondering if he happened to have one on hand that we could buy, and install ourselves, in a simple DIY fix that might work?

I got a text back almost immediately that yes, he had the board, and would come by in 1 hour, and would be happy to install it.

Dinah and I cheered! Problem solved!

Richard switched out the boards, and the fridge compressor started running again, but the LCD panel remained blank, and not programmable. Richard fiddled with this, fiddled with that, then said he'd have to get another, accessory board, which he could have in a few days. He claimed that with new circuit boards, our venerable 2010 fridge should last another 10 years.

I learned from Richard that fridge manufacturing had slowly gotten worse over the last twenty years. He told me my fridge model was designed to last about 12-15 years. He told me that fridges built 5-7 years ago were built to last about 10 years, and that fridges sold today are built to last about 3 to 5 years, before major repair or replacement.

This boggled my mind. Our society grows more disposable, even in the face of climate change? I don't quite see how manufacturing a new fridge every 3 years for the same American home is more efficient with natural resources than using the same one for 50 years. If we want the "latest features", can't we give a working fridge to someone else?

But, I felt on the edge of beating the KitchenAid obsolescence strategy. Our fridge was cold but not programmable. It would last until we got back from vacation. Richard would put the second board in. We'd fix our old fridge, and be done for 10 years, save the environment a little bit.

I paid Richard $850 for his troubles: two circuit boards (one installed, one on order) and his labor. I am staggered by this cost, but understand it. That same money could buy a new, albeit basic, fridge. Just to fix two small circuit boards.

 

Chapter 4: The Repairman Effort, Part 2

We came back from vacation to a dead refrigerator. The light came on, but otherwise nothing. I had forgotten what the stink of rotting meat and vegetables was like.

I call Richard. He doesn't reply. I text Richard. He doesn't reply. I get a hold of his partner who says they haven't gotten any accessory control boards in. I research buying an the accessory control panel online, and find it is no longer manufactured.

Five days after we get back, Richard finally replies, and will be right by to "reset" the fridge, and the accessory control board is "coming soon," maybe tomorrow.

I know how it is in the trades -- you answer the fire before you. I'm not too annoyed by Richard's delay in response. It's all too typical as he's juggling too many dead appliances all at once. But I have growing concern we are not going to see the accessory board, that Richard may be bullshitting us, as he has made promises he can't keep.

Richard arrives, unplugs the bad accessory circuit board that was apparently telling the new, good main circuit board to shut down, and the compressor comes back on. He says he knows that they don't make the accessory boards any more, but has his guy working on a remanufactured one, and he'll be in touch.

After he leaves, we realize the freezer works, but no cold air is being blown up into the refrigerator area. We call Richard. He doesn't reply. We call again. He doesn't reply....

After five days of transferring blocks of ice from the freezer to the fridge to keep the veggies and meats cool, we give up. I can't repair it. Richard won't. It is time for a new fridge.

 

Chapter 5: The New Fridge From Home Depot

Dinah and I look at fridges online. We like this one. We like that one. A thousand bucks gets you a basic white fridge, but for something with features in pretend-stainless, you're looking I $2500, $3500, $4500, and $5500.

I look up brands and models on Consumer Reports. No fridge company gets better than a 3/5 for reliability. Just as Richard said, Consumer reports tells us to expect major repairs within 3-5 years.

A $5000 for a fridge designed to last 3-5 years? Who does this profit? Not the consumer.

We settle on a "reasonably-priced" fridge. We decide to use our local Home Depot to buy it, as no independent seller in Chicago has one.

We drive to Home Depot, work with a kind and helpful employee, and are given a delivery and installation date a week ahead.

Waiting a week for a fridge isn't a big deal, really. But think on it. When I was a kid in the mid 70's, I recall my grandmother buying a fridge at some store in Milwaukee. Later the same day, the same sales guy and a partner delivered it. They carried it up her stairs, too (she lived in a duplex). When she passed away in the late 90's, I helped settle her estate. The same fridge was in her kitchen, still cold. The couple that bought her house didn't seem to have any plans to replace it. Today, with all our progress, we wait a week for a fridge delivery.

The week passed, and the delivery day came. Home Depot was very detailed with sending checklist emails for installation (will it fit through your doorway? Does the water line have a shut off valve?) and sending text message updates for the delivery van's location.

Before the Home Depot deliverymen arrived, I did the following: 1. moved our building's garbage skip out of the way of the back gate, 2. Removed our chairs, plants, and carpets from out back deck. 3. Took our back door screen closing mount off the jamb. 4. Took our back door off its hinges. 5. Removed the kitchen carpets. 4. Moved the coat rack and shoe rack. 5. Emptied our ailing fridge and cleaned it out, transferring everything to our neighbor's fridge. 6. added a shutoff valve to the water line in the fridge area (cost $14), because Home Depot said it was their policy not to install any fridge without a shutoff valve in the fridge area (our shutoff valve was under the sink, three feet away).

The Home Depot truck arrived at 10 am, when they said it would. Three very friendly movers got the fridge onto the ground and took it out of its box. The base panel of the fridge had a huge dent in it, and a scrape across the entire width. Curiously, the cardboard box over the fridge showed no sign of damage whatsoever.

"Sorry man, we'll take this one back" the cheery delivery guys said. "Home Depot will call about replacing it. Shouldn't be more than 3 days."

Then I 1. moved our building's garbage skip back to the back gate, 2. Replaced our chairs, plants, and carpets on our back deck. 3. Replaced our back door screen closing mount on the jamb. 4. Rehung our back door. 5. Replaced the kitchen carpets. 4. Moved the coat rack and shoe rack back. 5. Refilled our ailing fridge, transferring everything back from our neighbor's fridge. 6. Left the shutoff valve to the water line in place.

At the end of the day, having heard nothing from Home Depot, I called the kind and helpful employee who sold us the fridge. She wasn't there, so I spoke to another employee who told me that 1. Home Depot had nothing in their system as the delivery men had to return the actual fridge to the warehouse first, and then it would need to be scanned into the system. Then it could be considered "returned". 2. When they had it back in their system, and returned, they had to accept the return. 3. If they accepted the return, they would then process a replacement, and at that time, would put us into line for a new delivery date. I asked how long this process would take. "The return acceptance should take about two days, and if you don't hear from us within three days, please call back."

I (calmly) pointed out that this seemed unreasonable, to wait for Home Depot to replace the fridge at their convenience. The poor employee then explained to me that they had no control whatsoever over the delivery of their appliances, that they were done by a third party company. I pointed out that I had bought the fridge from Home Depot, but that logic didn't seem relevant. Whether she wanted to or not, she couldn't do anything about it, and I believed her.

The kind and helpful employee who sold us the fridge also called me back to offer a more clear assessment. It would likely be 7 to 10 days before we saw another fridge. She tried to cancel the current order, and put in a new one, but that only shaved a day or two off the process, with some risk of buying two fridges.

I checked online and found that Best Buy could get us the fridge in 2 days. I called the kind and helpful employee from Home Depot to ask why Best Buy could get us a fridge in 2 days, and Home Depot needed 10 days to replace one. She admitted that she had no answer, and couldn't do anything about it, and I believe her. So I cancelled our order with Home Depot for a full refund, and made a new one with Best Buy.

 

Chapter 6: The New Fridge From Best Buy

When I made the order with Best Buy, I asked the clerk if their promise of 2 day delivery was real, or if it had a chance of sliding forward to 7 to 10 days after I gave them my money. He let me know that they had a bunch of them in the warehouse, and that it should not be a problem. I decided to believe him.

The morning of the delivery, I 1. moved out building's garbage skip out of the way of the back gate, 2. Removed our chairs, plants, and carpets from out back deck. 3. Took our back door screen closing mount off the jamb. 4. Took our back door off its hinges. 5. Removed the kitchen carpets. 4. Moved the coat rack and shoe rack. 5. Emptied our ailing fridge and cleaned it out, transferring everything to our neighbor's fridge.

The Best Buy truck arrived at 3pm, when they said it would. The very friendly movers (not the same as the Home Depot movers) got the fridge onto the ground and took it out of its box. The base panel was not dented. It looked like it was new.

They took the doors off the new one. They hustled it upstairs. They took the doors off the old one. They hustled it down the stairs. They put the doors back on the new one. They took the shutoff valve off the water line, as it was useless to them, and attached the water line to the fridge. hey plugged it in. The fridge made an annoyingly cheery "ding ding ding ding", and would not stop.

What's the problem? I asked. Interior light won't go off when the door is closed, the delivery guy said. He took off a panel and fiddled with a control panel.

Ding ding ding.

He fiddled with it, dinging incessantly, for a half an hour. I began to imagine them taking the doors off and hustling the new fridge down the stairs and back into the truck, telling me Best Buy would be in touch about a replacement delivery date, 7 to 10 days out.

Ding ding ding.

I began to wonder if we would ever get a new fridge and if, statistically speaking, anyone can. Are they all defective and returned? Is this just an endless dance between consumers and megacorporations, in which we pay them and they promise cool new objects that they never actually deliver? This strategy would save on R&D costs, as the fridges would never have to actually work.

The dinging stopped. The tech said "wow, never seen that before. It was a sensor, gummed up. Fixed it. Light goes off now." And it did.

They cleaned up. The fridge felt as if it was getting cold. I signed away my rights.

 

Chapter 7: The New Fridge

Opening the new LG, the highest rated Consumer Reports brand, everything felt lightweight and cheap compared to our old Kitchenaid. Flimsy plastic this. Flimsy plastic that. The drawers make bottom-end Ikea feel like custom-made aircraft cabinetry.

To remove the packing material, I had to remove a shelf. But the shelf was accidentally glued to the back of the fridge in one spot. Prying the two plastic parts together, everything twisted and pulled apart, so thin and fragile. Miraculously, I popped the errant glue spot without breaking anything. But I can see that this new super-expensive fridge will not last more than 3 years, even if the control board and compressor keep going. I don't think it can stand the wear and tear of having a half gallon milk box placed on a shelf, or a head of lettuce placed in a drawer. It's just not built to last.

Then, with the new fridge beginning to feel a little cool inside, I 1. moved our building's garbage skip back to the back gate, 2. Replaced our chairs, plants, and carpets on our back deck. 3. Replaced our back door screen closing mount on the jamb. 4. Rehung our back door. 5. Replaced the kitchen carpets. 4. Moved the coat rack and shoe rack back. 5. Refilled our ailing fridge, transferring everything back from our neighbor's fridge. 6. Left the shutoff valve to the water line in place, though Best Buy said nothing about it.

The last item I pulled out of the fridge was, you guessed it, an Arbitration Notice. Apparently, I gave away legal rights by putting a head of lettuce into my new fridge. Magical! I wonder what I lost by walking through my front door, or lost when I got into my car today? Possibly the right to live in a nation with the rule of law.

Now I have even less time to think about politics. I have to find myself a lawyer to use my fridge the way I did in the 70's. Let's start with the simple things, an get to the politics later.

Start at Repair.org if you're interested in your rights to repair.

 

 

Comments

[AWilliams]

I bet Kitchen Aid keeps their electronic schematics at Mar-Al-lago.